True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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