nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
