I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
