No stitches, just platelets and will power
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize