Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
