Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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