When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
