he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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