It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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