I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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