Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
only you would photoshop your dick
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
