Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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