just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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