There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk is not a location!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize