I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
