Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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