Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
