her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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