Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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