lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
