i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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