Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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