So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
