Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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