It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
