Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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