idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
