i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
whose parrot is this?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
