I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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