They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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