That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
