Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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