His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We have so much sex to catch up on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
