Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
