We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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