If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
