I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
even my farts smell like vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize