you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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