I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
