you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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