you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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