you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
