It's Friday. Sex?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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