fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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