So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize