I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal