They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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