You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
