This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
