Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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