We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
