apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
