There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
