What did we do last night that was yellow?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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