Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
