her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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