Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
