Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
