no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
