I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
