so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize