oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
