Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
