I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
