I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
