Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This house was built for laser tag.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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