At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
