you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
