I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
