I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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