if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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