Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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