you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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