Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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