There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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