All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i dont even know how to be here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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