so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
