I want to have your abortion
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
